John Lloyd Quotations

Maybe the universe is a giant practical joke and we don't know the punchline.

I can help you shape your sitcom, I can help you think about what could make your sketch show better, but it won't help you get you a commission.

I can't see Tim Henman as the sort of player who hangs around the tennis circuit ranked 30 or 40 in the world,

I think he's almost looking forward to the end of the year because he's had a pretty awful year but a lot of it's been due to injuries - I don't think he's ever felt he's had a full chance this year,

It all depends if you can get your point across, and if thinks he can make a difference, but it's good because it will be informal.It will also help people recognise him because I didn't know who he was before today.

I think the thing about Ronnie Barker is this, ... He proved that, if you do what you like, as long as you do it well - and he did it better than anyone - you can take everybody with you.

Jokes are a lot about meaning. I think if we understand what jokes mean and why they work, we'd understand everything else. Genuinely I do.

You can analyse a joke and say it's funny because this guy thought this was going to happen, and that happened, and it's surprising. But not all surprising things are funny.

We are very, very pleased with progress so far.

I still don't like authority exercised without reason. But they laugh at you at Cambridge if you say that sort of thing. For them, the law is a system of rules not that different from mathematics.

I spoke Spanish when I was three, and then Maltese. I love dictionaries. I like foreigners. My dad moved every year before I was 14, and I learnt to like abroad. I'm not scared of change.

The universe is fractal. The closer you look at it, the more interesting it becomes.

It's not possible to say where the explosives came from,

It's very frustrating to pay in order to stand still.

I have very strong views on TV. There's no diversity, there's no choice. Things are decided by committee.

I probably did pack a lifetime's work into the 1980s.

I couldn't tell you, to be honest, ... Even though I'm playing it, it's still not my main sport.

I do have at home the most ridiculous number of awards for what I have done, which is nice in terms of being patted on the back, yet it does cure you of caring about what other people say about you. Ultimately, you must have your own standard of what is good enough.

I'd never bought the idea that you don't lose money by underestimating the intelligence of the audience. Although perhaps I should add that I've never really made that much money.

You can't predict anything. How can you be certain about anything when everything is chaos and we're not in control?