Zach Braff Quotations

When I was little I always wanted to drive a train. That, and become a baker.

You want to know the secret of my success? Let me tell you about eugenics...

I actually did ponder doing the Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie thing and get a kid from Ethiopia. But you know, I already have an ashtray.

Now that 'Scrubs' is over, people seem to feel more comfortable telling me that I was a total douche to them for the past 8 years. And the whole time I'm thinking, 'Who ARE you?'

People always tell me I should run for president, but I don't think they'd give me enough time off to make my films.

The problem with doing commercials is that the only thing good enough for me to sell is myself, and I stopped doing that once I kicked my coke habit.

When I think about the holidays, I think about the Salvation Army guys ringing bells in front of stores. They're always so nice to you and they're always willing to give a heart to heart conversation. They actually bear the winter cold to ask for your petty cash with a smile on their face. Fudge those guys.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

You know, I think there should be a Zach Braff Day. We could have it on December 25th and then people can decide whether they want to celebrate me or Jesus. If you ask me, the choice is pretty obvious.

When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.