Robert Benchley Comedy Quotations

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get a new book out of him each year.