Shaquille O'Neal Nba Quotations

I feel like Bill Walton - old and shitty.

That's sort of a trick question, and I don't have a trick answer. Next question, please. You're not going to get me with that question today, buddy...I'm a veteran at this, buddy. Can't get that with me, buddy. Not today.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, bet you can't type that.

I know that this is sport first and business second, and people have to do what's right for them.

Keep in mind, I'm not allowed to be tough. I'm tamed.

The NBA is fairy tale and real life mixed together.

I'm the first player in history that doesn't want to play defense and still gets in foul trouble.

A pinch is a pinch. If you pinch my right nipple, I'm going to say, 'ouch.' If I pinch your right nipple, you're going to say 'ouch.' A foul is a foul and a flagrant is a flagrant.

Why aren't the Nets playing in Newark?

He could be dominant - if he played in the WNBA.

The NBA's been around how long? A hundred years? Fifty years? So to change it now, whoever that person is needs his college degree revoked....Whoever did that needs to be fired. It was terrible, a terrible decision. Awful. I might get fined for saying that, but so what?

There will be a report coming out, and my name will be on it.

There's two kinds of dirty - dirty and sewer-dirty. Danny Ferry is sewer-dirty and has been ever since he was at Duke.

I think it would be a boring game if everybody was the same, just like it would be boring if you guys asked the same dumb questions.

Enunciation, diction, all that stuff. None of that is in my personality.

It feels good. It's not bad for somebody who can't shoot.

I think the new ball is terrible. It's the worst decision some expert, whoever did it, made. It's terrible. It's like touching an exotic dancer and then going and touching a plastic blow-up doll. You know, it feels different.

About strip clubs and athletes. The best way I can explain why a lot of players end up there is because it's one of the safest places a high-profile person can spend time in a boring city.

As a man, you got to know how to take it, so I just took it.

It means I don't have to charter that big jet for the family.

Do we play Chicago again? I going to hit Othella Harrington right in the mouth. If he didn't have his clumsy ass on the floor, I wouldn't have fell. How he got on the ground, I don't know. He's clumsy. Quote me on that. I'm going to get him.

They are that same group, but I've got my own rivalristic problems. Is that a word, rivalristic? I've got my own rivalristic problems in the Eastern Conference.

I'm playing like Eric Dampier.

Dampier is soft. Quote it, underline it, tape it and send it to him.

Flash, take the game off. I'll go out and do the work.

I think he got an incidental elbow in the face, messed up his pretty red lips a little bit. But other than that he'll be fine.

I got it, I dove on the floor, he dove on my head and I hit my teeth on the ground. It was just one of my police reactions to get that criminal off me.

It's a different role for me, playing with the great Dwyane Wade.

I told my wife when I was rolling up, I felt like the president.

You guys should be ashamed of yourselves. You all should be spanked for this.

He's got a ring, so I'm taking home the trophy.

First person who says that to my face, I'll punch you!

I said it jokingly, so this guy was just trying to stir something up that's not there. He's just somebody who doesn't have a sense of humor, like I do.

They asked me when I was out there, 'Why do you want to be traded?' I said me staying here is like divorcing my wife and marrying someone who looks like me. That's backwards, man.

I was kind of hoping it was Anna Kournikova.

I'm not going to go home and drink rat urine.

Everything is done out of respect, whether it's a cheer or a boo.

It's over now. He said what he had to say, I said what I had to say. Don't play with me. Seriously, don't play with me.

Now I see why everybody who plays for him doesn't like him.

It was a cheap shot. They won the game, move on. My thing is, I don't ask for a lot, but I demand my respect, especially from a guy like that.

If he wants to get that next contract, he's going to have to go to the New York Athletic Club three times a day and just ride the bike.

If he were on fire, he couldn't act as if he were burning. He can't out-act me on the big screen.

I'm pretty much able to play any style. I'm not here to demand 40 or 50 shots. But I would like 30.

I came here with the perfect chemist's perception. The formula they had was perfect and any added ingredient could make it go bad or worse.

It's his show and I'm just trying to make him look good. If we were the same age there might be a little tension, but I'm on my way out... I am here to serve your every need, King James.

Against Bradley, every time I'm trying to dunk, dunk, dunk.

Afterwards I said Chris Webber was going to leave as a free agent and Sacramento would go back to expansionism.

I told Leonard, in the immortal words of Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible 2, 'I'm going on vacation. If I tell you where I'm going, then it won't be a vacation.'

Like I've always said, what's hot must go cold.

Now, if you're an NBA fan, you know what Vince Carter did. I came up with a line about him: 'Half-man, half-amazing.'

You're messing up my highlights.

We want you all to be in shape and look as good as me. Because I will be walking naked on the beach.

The Spurs are a great WNBA team.

No one was there. Some teammates, huh? I guess they didn't want to get their lip busted like the gentleman I busted. Sorry for that sir.

They say old people always come to Arizona, you know, to get recharged.

I'm going to be looking to get out like Randy Moss and Terrell Owens.

I have orders not to come back until I'm a thousand percent.

We have strict orders: If we talk about it we get fined $50,000.

One time, I put up 40, 50 points dunking on Shawn Bradley. After the game, he brought his family over. He was like, 'This is my wife. She wants to take a picture.' I'm like, 'Nice to meet you.' I smile into the camera, take the picture, and then feel guilty about dunking on him so many times.

Get away from my house. What do you want?

I don't believe in pressure. Pressure is when you don't know where your next meal is coming from.

Tell them it was a foul.

I was really upset. I felt like they tried to limit me, whoever 'they' may be. So I just said to myself third quarter I'm going to come out and do what I do.

I got into foul trouble, so I really kind of had to play on egg shells from there on out.

When I retire, I'm going after his job. If I don't make sheriff, I'm going after his job. He's not that good. You can quote me on that.

I told my wife the other day, I'm the Halle Berry of the NBA. Everybody wants this, baby. Everybody wants me.

It gets bigger every time you go over. In China, there was Yao Ming stuff everywhere. I'm just fortunate to have a good-looking face to where they recognize me.

I look forward to making Miami a media mecca.

It's hard being the NBA's sex symbol, but somebody has to do it.

Alvin's the coach. We must be the Clippers. And I must be Olowokandi. Nooooo!

He is an old glove, but he looked like the old Glove.

You know what's crazy about Yao? He speaks perfect English. A lot of people don't know that. Perfect English. When I was over there, I called him. He's like, 'Whassup big fella?' Perfect English!

Get your tickets now. Buy cable now. Get your jerseys now. Pull your boats up to the docking stations now. Bring your Sea-Doos now. If you can't afford a Sea-Doo, get a raft.

Opinions are like belly buttons; everybody has one. I never knock a man for his opinion.

Obviously, Sam is the type of guy that hides behind his pen and pad. I promise you he wouldn't say that to my face in a dark alley where it's just me and him and no witnesses.

I would love an extension, who wouldn't? If they offer me a $35 million-a-year extension, I'll sign it right now. I won't even read the contract. I'm just here to take care of business and I know can help give the city what it's looking for.

That was a foul, young lady. You know that was a foul. Don't ask dumb questions.

Somebody out there was trying to use my language and trying to speak for me. Rather than have that happen, I thought I'd do it myself. It's a fun thing. It's a way for fans to connect.

Y'all reporters like my quotes, don't you. Yeah, my quotes are Shaqalicious.

Well, Doctor, I don't have the diagnosis on that. I'll be sure to do a physical checkup and get back to you.

If you take a needle and stick her in the booty and take a needle and stick me in the booty, we're both going to say ouch.

Hopefully it's the highest-watched game in NBA history. So when I get old, I can tell my kids I played in the game where 700 million people watched.

Hopefully it's the highest-watched game in NBA history.

There's no answer for my offense, just like the polythagorean theorem.

You guys make the rules up, so a foul is a foul. It doesn't matter if a guy is bigger and stronger. It's not my fault I ate my Frosted Flakes when I was little, and you ate Wheaties.

You gotta fight all the karate guys, and once you kill them off, now you gotta get to the ninjas. Once you get through the ninjas, now you gotta get to the showmen. Now me, I'm the showman of big men.