Terry Pratchett Would Be Quotations

He was, he would be the first to admit, a coward, an incompetent, and not even very good at being a failure.

Perhaps it would be simpler if you just did what you're told and didn't try to understand things.

Most witches don’t believe in gods. They know that the gods exist, of course. They even deal with them occasionally. But they don’t believe in them. They know them too well. It would be like believing in the postman.

Probably the last sound heard before the Universe folded up like a paper hat would be someone saying, 'What happens if I do this?'

They were also slightly less intelligent than he was. This is a quality you should always pray for in your would-be murderer.

There would be a price... But if you were worried about the price, then why were you in the shop?

Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in yourself. The world would be a happier place if more people remembered that.

And no practical definition of freedom would be complete without the freedom to take the consequences. Indeed, it is the freedom upon which all the others are based.

It looked like the sort of book described in library catalogues as "slightly foxed", although it would be more honest to admit that it looked as though it had beed badgered, wolved and possibly beared as well. -- Ah, but has it been hedgehogged?

Any wizard bright enough to survive for five minutes was also bright enough to realize that if there was any power in demonology, then it lay with the demons. Using it for your own purposes would be like trying to beat mice to death with a rattlesnake.

You just put that sword away, sir, please," said the voice of Lance-Constable Vimes. "You will not shoot me, you young idiot. That would be murder," said the captain calmly. "Not where I'm aiming, sir.

All assassins had a full-length mirror in their rooms, because it would be a terrible insult to anyone to kill them when you were badly dressed.

Lots of people would be as cowardly as me if they were brave enough.