They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed.
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
My personal hobbies are reading, listening to music, and silence.
Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.
A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Ever consider what pets must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.
Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don't be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning 'Good morning' at total strangers.
The average Hollywood film star's ambition is to be admired by an American, courted by an Italian, married to an Englishman and have a French boyfriend.
The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
These young guys are playing checkers. I'm out there playing chess.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money.
The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.
I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught.
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
If the world was perfect, it wouldn't be.
This morning someone sent me a very funny photo of me holding their puppy. We have matching colour jackets.
'Red Band Society' is inspiring, funny, and an uplifting story that makes you want to make the most of your life, love and live to the fullest, and that's a great message.
I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it.
What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both ... different. In spelling.
A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children.