Will Rogers Men Quotations [Page 2]

Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.

A Republican moves slowly. They are what we call conservatives. A conservative is a man who has plenty of money and doesn't see any reason why he shouldn't always have plenty of money. A Democrat is a fellow who never had any, but doesn't see any reason why he shouldn't have some.

An economist is a man that can tell you...what can happen under any given condition, and his guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's too.

You must judge a man's greatness by how much he will be missed.

In a real estate man's eye, the most expensive part of the city is where he has a house to sell

More men have been elected between Sundown and Sunup than ever were elected between Sunup and Sundown.

There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you have to do is report the facts. I dont even have to exaggerate.

Texas is a great state. It's the 'Old Man River' of states. No matter who runs it or what happens to it politically, it just keeps rolling along!

I would rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it.

Women are not the weak, frail little flowers that they are advertised. There has never been anything invented yet, including war, that a man would enter into, that a woman wouldn't, too.

No man is great if he thinks he is.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat! If we ever pass out as a great nation we ought to put on our tombstone 'America died from a delusion that she had moral leadership.'

Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.

It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.

I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good.

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?

A man who dies without adequate life insurance should have to come back and see the mess he created.

I was born on Nov. 4, which is election day ... my birthday has made more men and sent more back to honest work than any other days in the year.

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

Lobbyists have more offices in Washington than the President. You see, the President only tells Congress what they should do. Lobbyists tell'em what they will do.

We don't give our criminals much punishment, but we sure give 'em plenty of publicity.

I would love to see Mr. (Henry) Ford in there, really. I don't know who started the idea that a President must be a Politician instead of a Business man. A Politician can't run any other kind of business. So there is no reason why he can run the U.S. That's the biggest single business in the World.

The government sent the Indians to Oklahoma. They had a treaty that said, 'You shall have this land as long as grass grows and water flows.' It was not only a good rhyme but looked like a good treaty, and it was till they struck oil. Then the Government took it away from us again. They said the treaty only refers to 'Water and Grass; it don't say anything about oil.'

See where Congress passed a two billion dollar bill to relieve bankers' mistakes. You can always count on us helping those who have lost part of their fortune, but our whole history records nary a case where the loan was for the man who had absolutely nothing. Our theory is to help only those who can get along, even if they don't get a loan.

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches.

Those tax-exempt bonds were put in so that a town or a state or a government could sell more bonds than it ought to.

Our investigations have always contributed more to our amusement than they have to knowledge

Nothing makes a man or body of men as mad as the truth. If there is no truth in it they laugh it off.

There is not a man in the country that can't make a living for himself and his family. But he can't make a living for them AND the government, too, the way his government is living. What the government has got to do is live as cheap as the people.

Statesmen think they make history; but history makes itself and drags the statesmen along.

On account of us being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does

That's one good thing about wars. It takes smarter men to figure out who loses 'em than it does to start 'em.

I don't make jokes. I just watch government and report the facts.

I don't know jokes; I just watch the government and report the facts.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you

Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.

As bad as we sometimes think our government is run, it is the best run I ever saw.

This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die. Prolonged life has ruined more men than it ever made.

The whole thing about the women is, they lust to be misunderstood

No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long as he has a dog, he has a friend; and the poorer he gets, the better friend he has.

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.