Ambrose Bierce Cast Quotations

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

DISOBEDIENCE, n. The silver lining to the cloud of servitude.

Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors.

PROPERTY, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies the passion for possession in one and disappoints it in all others. The object of man's brief rapacity and long indifference.

While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his.

CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.

Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.

Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.

EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.

EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.