Bill Cosby Chi Quotations

Your parents put a curse on you - Someday your kids are going to act just like you.

Our children are trying to tell us something, and we are not listening.

There are no absolutes in raising children. In any stressful situation, fathering is always a roll of the dice. The game may be messy, but I have never found one with more joys and rewards.

A child who is disciplined will be more obedient and also more organized as a student.

My dad came over to the house... went into his pocket and pulled out a handful of money, and began to pass it out to the children... This was the same man who, when I was his child, I would ask him for 50 cents, this man would tell me his life's story.

Some authority on parenting once said, "Hold them very close and then let them go." This is the hardest truth for a father to learn: that his children are continuously growing up and moving away from him (until, of course, they move back in).

Anyone who has brought up children knows that consistency has absolutely nothing to do with discipline.

The childless experts on child raising also bring tears of laughter to my eyes when they say, I love children because they're so honest. There is not an agent in the CIA or the KGB who knows how to conceal the theft of food, how to fake being asleep, or how to forge a parent's signature like a child.

If you took your child to the dentist and check for cavities, the child likely won't get them. If you take them just for emergency, that's all they're gonna get.

My wife and I have five children. And the reason why we have five children is because we do notwantsix.

A grandchild is God's reward for raising a child.

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.

The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.

We're not raising children with the love that we need to.

In spite of the seven thousand books of expert advice, the right way to disciplne a child is still a mystery to most fathers and...mothers Only your grandmother and Genghis Khan know how to do it.

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His kids.

All Children Have Brain Damage!

What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I'd like to say that grandparents are God's gifts to children.

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.

It doesn't make any difference how much money a father earns, his name is always Dad-Can-I.... Like all other children, my five have one great talent: they are gifted beggars. Not one of them ever ran into the room, looked up at me, and said, "I'm really happy that you're my father, and as a tangible token of my appreciation, here's a dollar.

Our children are angry. The profanity is out in the street. It's on the buses and in the subway. Our children are trying to tell us something, and we are not listening.

A person with no children says, "Well I just love children," and you say "Why?" and they say, "Because a child is so truthful, that's what I love about 'em - they tell the truth." That's a lie, I've got five of 'em. The only time they tell the truth is if they're having pain.

When I was a child, I was living in the housing projects of Philadelphia. I didn't even have a Christmas tree.

When the child is twelve, your wife buys her a splendidly silly article of clothing called a training bra. To train what? I never had a training jock. And believe me, when I played football, I could have used a training jock more than any twelve-year-old needs a training bra.

I didn't like what was on TV in terms of sitcoms—it had nothing to do with the color of them—I just didn't like any of them. I saw little kids, let's say 6 or 7 years old, white kids, black kids. And the way they were addressing the father or the mother, the writers had turned things around, so the little children were smarter than the parent or the caregiver. They were just not funny to me. I felt that it was manipulative and the audience was looking at something that had no responsibility to the family.

We spoke to God about the children, and we were afraid to ask God for specific things. We thought that it might be too much. So we said to God 'Please give us a healthy child' and left it at that, not knowing that God is a generous God, but also has a sense of humor. And if you leave that much open for God, some wonderful jokes are going to come about.

Children today know more about sex than I or my father did.

I want to get violence - I want schools to start from K through 12 to just every day have teachers understand that they don't want to talk about anything that is violent, and they want to explain to the children how bad violence is and how behavior - violent behavior, is something that they really should not practice and think about.

Grandparents are God's gifts to children.

Fatherhood is helping your children learn English as a foreign language.

I'm not sure if my parents had me because they loved me, or because they wanted someone to watch their other children.

What best defines a child is the total inability to receive information from anything not plugged in.

And to those people with no children but who think they'd like to have them some day to fulfill their lives. Remember: With fulfillment comes responsibility.

I'm not saying looting is good, ... But I'm saying surely at a time when your child needs diapers and you need food, when does looting stop...

If you listen carefully to what a child is saying to you, you'll see that he has a point to make. So I listen. And I answer them just as seriously as possible. And if I don't know the answer, I'll tell them I don't know.

If you're a parent, the five worst words you can say to your children are, "When I was your age ..." You were never their age. You were older in the womb.

I was a physical education major with a child psychology minor at Temple, which means if you ask me a question about a child's behavior, I will advise you to tell the child to take a lap.

The mother may be doing ninety percent of the disciplining, but the father still must have a full-time acceptance of all the children. He never must say, "Get these kids out of here; I'm trying to watch TV." If he ever does start saying this, he is liable to see one of his kids on the six o'clock news.

I don't have a clue about the way to achievement, however the way to disappointment is attempting to please everyone.

My wife was a beautiful woman before we had children.

When you're a father you censor yourself. You get just as angry with a child but you don't want to say, "What the filth and foul and I'll filth and foul, filth and foul and, yeah, ya filth and foul face, and I'll filth and foul, foul, filth!" You don't want to say that to a child so you censor yourself and you sound like an idiot: "What the... Get your... I'll put a... Get out of my face!"

Public education is a good foundation on which to build a better life for each of us. And if we want to prove to these children who never made the mess in the first place that education is worth the trouble, our schools have to inspire them so they can do what they ought to do.

I think the part of media that romanticizes criminal behavior, things that a person will say against women, profanity, being gangster, having multiple children with multiple men and women and not wanting to is prevalent. When you look at the majority of shows on television they placate that kind of behavior.

Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.

In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage.

A baseball manager has learned a lot about his job from having played the game, but a parent has not learned a thing from having once been a child.

My children love my mother, and I tell my children, that is not the same woman I grew up with...That is an old woman trying to get into heaven now.

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

The essence of childhood, of course, is play.

Laughter brings out the child in all of us.

My wife and I have five children; the reason we have five children is because we do not want six

And I was a physical education major with a child psychology minor at Temple, which means if you ask me a question about a child's behavior, I will advise you to tell the child to take a lap.

One of the great mistakes that can be made by a man of my age is to get involved in athletic competition with children-unless, of course, they are under six. And even then, stay away from hide-and-seek.

Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.

You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.

Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.

There are teachers in the United States who cry in the daytime because they see a child or children who haven't eaten properly, children who haven't used soap in so long.

People say children are charming because they tell the truth. That's a lie. I've got five of them. They only tell the truth if they're in pain.

If you read my sixth-grade report card, you'd notice that I started with unsatisfactory grades. My teacher sent a note home to my mother that said I was a 'good boy' but I 'needed to be watched.' She put a 'body' on me. Our children are trying to tell us something. They are trying to tell the black mayors, school superintendents, teachers - all of us, that they need a whole lot of bodies on them.

Some authority on parenting once said, ""Hold them very close and then let them go."" This is the hardest truth for a father to learn: that his children are continuously growing up and moving away from him (until, of course, they move back in).

The more you invest in that child, the more you're not going to let some CD tell your child how to curse and how to say the word n----- is an accepted word -- so hip to use n----- but you can't even spell it.

One of the beauties of watching our show is that, really and truly, it remains fresh because you're dealing with human beings and their behavior,