We want to be funny. We want to make people laugh... We'll do whatever it takes.
Hi. There was a big accident, some people got decapitated, here are their names... You know what? That shirt really makes you look fat. I mean, the colour's all wrong... I mean, who shot the drapes?
I was a bookworm. Every week I'd go to the library and get seven books. Remember libraries? I wonder if people still go. And I learned about everything from the library. I came from a Scottish family. Old school.
The people who influenced me most were the people who said I would never make it. They gave me a thirst for revenge.
NASA sends probe to Uranus, people everywhere giggle.
Many people think it's in bad taste to advertise for an insane asylum... but come on down. We're going crazy.
Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!
The Beatles, Rolling Stones, Barbra Streisand, Bruce Springsteen, these are just some of the people who threatened to sue if we used their songs.