Dave Barry Humor Quotations [Page 2]

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'

There are two kinds of solar-heat systems: passive systems collect the sunlight that hits your home, and active systems collect the sunlight that hits your neighbors' homes, too.