Eddie Izzard Men Quotations

We have archeology on television, and I quite like it; its a sort of detective thing, but its really true, you know its there But its kind of slow on telly, it has this problem of, Weve been here three weeks on live television, and weve taken off about a millimeter of top soil so far Theres men with brushes and beards maybe theyve just got beards, Im not sure We found this and carbon-dated it to last Tuesday, so were very excited

The Death Star is just full of British actors opening doors and going,Oh... I... oh... What is it Lieutenant Sebastian? It's just the Rebels, sir... they're here. My God, man! Do they want tea? No, I think they're after something a bit more than that, sir. I don't know what it is, but they've brought a flag. Damn, that's dash cunning of them.

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!

Sharks are just evil bastards. I'm quite happy if all the sharks just went, because they eat fish and us. And we need the fish.

I am two lesbians in a man's body.

No matter how much makeup I wore, people just kept saying "Yes, sir! Would you like tea with that, sir?" "Yes, I would like tea. Why don't you put it on my breasts?" "Certainly. Tea for this man's breasts! Anything else, sir?"

Because we all know one of the main factors of war is the element of surprise. And what could be more surprising than the First Batallion Transvestite Brigade? Airborne Wing.