The thing you love right away, don't do it, because that's the very thing that's going to be your addiction for the rest of your life.
Smoking is the great romance of my lifetime. If I could find someone I wanted forty-five times a day, perhaps I could stop.
When I fly, I'm never afraid the plane is going to crash. But there have often been times when I was afraid it wouldn't crash. I was just afraid it was going to circle O'Hare for the rest of my life.
Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.
Life is so absurd now that it is almost impossible to be a satirist in this era.
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
My favorite animal is steak.
Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.