Graham Chapman Holy Quotations

When danger reared its ugly head, He bravely turned his tail and fled.

I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition...

Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government

We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!