Jay Leno Life Quotations

Texas Governor Rick Perry now says his wife has been encouraging him to run for President. Remember first he told us God told him to run; now his wife is telling him to run. Of course, the big difference; if you ignore what God says you don't have to hear about it until the afterlife. That's the only difference.

It is said that life begins when the fetus can exist apart from its mother. By this definition, many people in Hollywood are legally dead.

Having a life is easy. Having a career is hard to come by.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak.