Johnny Carson Life Quotations

If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.

I couldn't care less what anybody says about me. I live my life, especially my personal life, strictly for myself.... Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized. I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.