I've always had that chip on my shoulder. I've just always been super hard on myself.
Don't fall into the trap of thinking about politics in your workplace too much. Just work hard, be cheerful, ignore distractions.
I think that it's insidious to be spending more of your time reflecting and talking about panels, and talking more and more in smart ways about your otherness, rather than doing the hard work of your job.
My whole childhood was like: Work hard, be quiet, respect elderly people, respect your parents, and just be unobtrusive.