Dennis Michael Miller (born November 3, 1953) is an American political commentator, stand-up comedian, talk show host, writer, and former sportscaster. (wikipedia)
Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a burger down some of these people's jaw because they look a little pale and wan to me.
I think the people can bash Catholics because they know Catholics won't kill them. Quite frankly, there's some religions out there, you bash and they're going to kill you.
Homosexuals are entering the mainstream, because they're becoming as boring and as tedious as any other splinter group.
Drop the veneer periodically and be like "OK, I'm an imperfect human. Let's try to get through this."
The way I've always governed my life as far as fiscal policy goes is I'm smart enough to know that I'm dumb about it, so I surround myself with smart people in much the same way a hole surrounds itself with a doughnut. I just pay things off. That's all I do.
I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person.
Everybody is full of crap. The coin of the realm is being full of crap. The best people - being full of crap are our leaders and our superstars.
Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.
Any time your parent says they party with you, that is its own form of child abuse.
Democratic candidate John Kerry on Tuesday chose fellow Senator John Edwards to be his running mate. Asked about Edwards' lack of foreign policy experience, Kerry revealed his new campaign slogan, 'I Promise Not to Die.'