Jilly Cooper Quotations

I'm not wild about holidays. They always seem a ludicrously expensive way of proving there's no place like home.

The letter of application ... should be a masterpiece of fiction, papering over all the cracks. Get it properly typed on decent writing paper. Never let it run over the page, people get bored with reading.

A lot of meetings are held to arrange when to have meetings. ... Meetings today are usually called conferences to make them sound more significant.

Meetings ... are rather like cocktail parties. You don't want to go, but you're cross not to be asked.

If you feel compelled to give a New Year's Eve party, don't invite people to arrive too early or they'll go off the boil before midnight.

Although it is the biggest time-waster in office life, you must never underrate the importance of the memo. You will be judged by the volume of your paper work.

Always be nice to everyone in the firm on the way up. You never know who you may meet on the way down.

hurting other people is not excusable because you've been hurt yourself.

People always assume that bachelors are single by choice and spinsters because nobody asked them. It never enters their heads that poor bachelors might have worn the knees of their trousers out proposing to girls who rejected them or that a girl might deliberately stay unmarried ...

Leo, sadly, has Parkinsons, but he used to cook all sorts of dazzling things.