hurting other people is not excusable because you've been hurt yourself.
People always assume that bachelors are single by choice and spinsters because nobody asked them. It never enters their heads that poor bachelors might have worn the knees of their trousers out proposing to girls who rejected them or that a girl might deliberately stay unmarried ...
People who can write a book usually do.
I can assure you that the class system is alive and well and living in people's minds in England.