When I want to end a relationship I just say, 'You know, I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have your children.' Sometimes they leave skid marks.
I knew so little about money I used to sign my check, "Love, Rita."
Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
I just love dogs, and there really is no better companion than an animal.
Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
I found out I had a real love for comedy and comedy writing. The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing.
Men hate to lose. I beat my husband once at tennis. I asked him, "Will we ever make love again?" He said, "Yes.... but not with each other.
I'm not a person who likes authority. I just love the fact that it's up to me, and I go straight to the audience.