If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer.
It would be great if people never got angry at someone for doing something they've done themselves.
I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.
I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
I asked my wife, 'On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate me as a lover?' She said, 'You know I'm no good at fractions.'
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
Last week I told my wife, If you would learn to cook, I could fire the chef. She said, If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer.
I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.