I have an amazing spouse; we're a team. He works, and I work, and we sort of do this dance with each other so that we can be present to our kids. But I think the whole 'balance' thing is an illusion; we just embrace the imbalance.
When I'm not at work, I put deep conditioner in my hair and wear a baseball cap. I'll just roll around on the off-days with goop in my hair, and then just rinse it out.