Billy Gardell Trying Quotations

As a comic, I've heard gunshots while I'm trying to get to sleep. I've performed where people wanted to do you harm after the show because of something you said.

I've been trying to watch my weight a bit, but when I come to Las Vegas, all bets are off. I get enough healthy food in L.A. where the food is the size of a quarter and costs $40 - when I'm in Vegas, I want a steak!

I have been a big guy all my life, I am not going to lose a bunch of weight, because then you're like that weird fat person that got skinny but still has a big head. I don't want to do that. So I'm just trying.