Actually, I think it's interesting that when I put the weight on, I was already with him. I don't know, maybe I felt safe. And he likes me like this. He likes me whatever size I am.
If you're interested or like it, but could be just as happy living in a regular town, having a regular job, maybe doing little theatre, you're better off and you'll be a happier person. This is too gut-wrenching and heartbreaking.