Erma Bombeck Literature Quotations

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.

Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.

House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.

Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.

For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.

How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.

I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order.

I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.

Children make your life important.