Jeremy Clarkson Top Quotations

Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED?

I rang up Jay Kay, who's got one, and said: 'Can we borrow yours?' and he said, 'Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing.'

Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.