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funny pain philosophy
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain. Carol Leifer
funny men humans
It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon. Carol Leifer
funny waiting almost-done
Ask her to wait a moment I am almost done. Carl Friedrich Gauss
funny patience humor
Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. Agnes Repplier
funny women humor
Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals. Agnes Repplier
funny sarcastic war
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. Abba Eban
funny marriage witty
Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens? Alan King
funny-inspirational integrity technology
Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves. Alan Kay
funny girl humor
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl. Charlie Chaplin
dog morning people
You know what kills me about Jennifer Lopez? The fact that this woman wakes up one day and she's like, 'You know what? From now on, I'd like people to call me J-Lo,' and then they do it. Only a celebrity can get away with this. George Bush doesn't come out for his morning press conferences: 'From now on, I'd like to be referred to as G-Bu. Y'all know my vice president, Dog Chain. Carol Leifer
dog tired ego
The ego is like a tired old dog. We can never kill it, so put it out on the back porch, let it rest there, and step around it. Carlos Castaneda
dog cat affection
Once when I had remarked on the affection quite often found between cat and dog, my friend replied, "Yes. But I bet no dog would ever confess it to the other dogs. C. S. Lewis
dogs humans problems
We have never really had any problems that I know of. Occasionally there are little scuffles -- between dogs or humans -- but nothing serious. Holly Swoape
dog pugs
I have one pug and one Czechoslovakian dog called Prazsky krysarik. Agnetha Faltskog
dog cat men
A man who owns a dog is, in every sense of the words, its master; the term expresses accurately their mutual relations. But it is ridiculous when applied to the limited possession of a cat. Agnes Repplier
dog distance cat
whereas the dog strives to lessen the distance between himself and man, seeks ever to be intelligent and intelligible, and translates into looks and actions the words he cannot speak, the cat dwells within the circle of her own secret thoughts. Agnes Repplier
dog heart cat
The dog is guided by kindly instinct to the man or woman whose heart is open to his advances. The cat often leaves the friend who courts her, to honor, or to harass, the unfortunate mortal who shudders at her unwelcome caresses. Agnes Repplier
dog common-sense puppy
A puppy is but a dog, plus high spirits, and minus common sense. Agnes Repplier
ex-boyfriend tweet proof
On tour, its either call ex-boyfriends or tweet a lot. Youre just looking for any proof that youre not completely alone. Chelsea Peretti
ex-boyfriend paris watches
I'd rather sit in bed and watch TV. All of my ex-boyfriends, of course, not Paris, would be like, 'What's the problem? You're so not sexual.' Paris Hilton
ex-boyfriend alive rats
Nick as in my former boyfriend Nick. Ex-rat, ex-boyfriend, ex-alive if I ever got hold of him Nick. Kim Harrison
ex-boyfriend lasts five
I collect ex-boyfriends -- and more than five, at last count. Jasper Fforde
ex-boyfriend periods unspoken-rules
You never date someone's ex-boyfriend. Period. That's not even the unspoken rule - that's the spoken rule. Eva Longoria
ex-boyfriend mean thinking
And if I'm being honest, I don't think I have an ex-boyfriend who would have something mean to say about me. Fiona Apple
ex-boyfriend want tone
I know. Life is so unfair. I'm still not going to pee on Karou's ex-boyfriend for you." "What? I wasn't even going to ask you to." In her most reasonable tone, Zuzana explained explained, "I just want you to pee in a balloon so I can drop it on him. Laini Taylor
ex-boyfriend finished exes
For me, once I've worked on something and it's finished, it's like an ex-boyfriend: you don't go back to them. Michelle Ryan
ex-boyfriend surfing pushing
I've surfed once in the gulf. I wouldn't really call it surfing. It was like an ex-boyfriend pushing me into the waves or something. That was my limited experience. Margaret Brown