Famous Quotes & Sayings

Mike Birbiglia

When I moved to New York, I was wide-eyed. I was nice to everyone, which comedians hate.

Tracy Morgan

So I think all comedians are earning their wings into heaven. We're all going to heaven, but everybody's not going to get their wings. Some people are just going to be regular angels. Doing cleanup, janitor work. In heaven, I'm going to sit on the couch with Oprah.

Nica Burns

The Perrier is about helping to discover new talent. In years to come, this generation of young comedians who are stepping into the spotlight will be setting the heather alight.

Nica Burns

The Perrier is about helping to discover new talent, ... In years to come, this generation of young comedians who are stepping into the spotlight will be setting the heather alight.

Maria Bamford

As far as I can tell, comedians are pretty serious people, and that's why they make fun of things all of the time.

Norm MacDonald

I'd say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he's just, he's talking about serious things, but in a funny way. Other comedians will talk about serious things in a serious way, and then you don't know what's going on.

Frank Mastalerz

We're going to look like we're guilty of something when it's just comedians and vaudeville dancing.

Chuck Palahniuk

I've always thought stand-up comedians were the oral storytellers of our time, because they know rhetoric, they know delivery, they know timing, they know all of these things that you can only learn by telling a story out loud and interacting with an audience.

Aziz Ansari

You go to any Jay-Z concert, and he plays his hits. Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on. It's the hardest thing.

Jody Kielbasa

We want to pound home the idea that the festival is for the entire Gulf region.

Jim Hale

We have never talked about being ranked No. 1 or being undefeated at all the entire season. Those numbers aren't important to us.

Mark Driscoll

We want our fans to show their support for our program by wearing green. We want the entire stadium in green.

Terry Zwigoff

Maybe if I found something I was really passionate about, which is entirely possible, I would make another documentary, but it's not a good career choice for anybody. I don't recommend it.

Sherri Shepherd

I want to know how to feel good while I'm in the gym, because I'm mad while I'm on the treadmill. I've got that angry-lady face the entire time.

Tracy Letts

The nature of the beast is that film is a director's medium. It's not a Tracy Letts play, it's a John Wells film. 'August: Osage County,' as a play, is done. Written. On the shelf. It'll be performed in its entirety for years.

Thomas Lennon

We did one pilot for FOX which was about this couple that moves to a town, and we play everyone in the entire town. So it was like a Peter Sellers film.

Uzo Aduba

My finding of myself as an artist, which I think in itself helped me to find just who I am and how I want to express myself, is entirely - in conjunction, of course, with my family, particularly my mom - founded on teachers.

Tim Matheson

For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society?

Carol Leifer

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

Carol Leifer

It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon.

Carl Friedrich Gauss

Ask her to wait a moment I am almost done.

Agnes Repplier

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.

Agnes Repplier

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

Abba Eban

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

Alan King

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

Alan Kay

Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.

Charlie Chaplin

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

Lauren Worsham

I played Jonathan Livingston Seagull in a musical version of 'Jonathan Livingston Seagull' in Austin, TX. It was pretty special.

Natalie Massenet

It's interesting to see how some of the womenswear designers that we have long worked with at Net-A-Porter are developing menswear collections - Christopher Kane, Jonathan Saunders and Richard Nicoll.

John Oliver

Most stand-ups, once they have done it, think of it as their default job. I'm pretty sure Jon Stewart still feels that way now. You are a stand-up first; other things come and go.

Jon Cryer

I can't imagine Jon Cryer performing with the New York Philharmonic isn't one of the signs of apocalypse.

Maurice Jackson

But Jones - they are a tough, tough team.

Tucker Carlson

We're talking to Jon Stewart, who was just lecturing us on our moral inferiority. Jon, you're bumming us out.

Al Jarreau

I'm touched by Jon Hendricks. I want some of my music to reflect that. And when I write, you're going to hear it.

Walter Veltroni

Today, when Quincy Jones wants to stage a concert, he comes to Rome.

Jenny Teater

When we tried to make a run, Pitts or Jones always stepped up.

Max Heindel

Every child is innocent because it has not been tempted, but only when we have been tempted and have remained pure, or when we have fallen, repented and reformed, are we virtuous.

Cheri Yecke

What we see from our state university system is no growth. It has remained static over time.

Pola Negri

I then remained in Berlin until Dec. 1938, spending my time between pictures at my villa on the Riviera.

Josiah Royce

The world, as transformed by this creative deed, is better than it would have been had all else remained the same, but had that deed of treason not been done at all.

James Meade

I remained a member of the section till 1947, becoming Director in 1946.

Stephen Colletti

Acting is fun, and if you enjoy doing it, you should take it seriously and see what you can do.

Bryan Ferry

As you get older, you get a bit more serious.

Jane Austen

An annuity is a very serious business.

Alan Arkin

My favorite kind of film is serious comedy. Comedy with serious underpinning.

Chetan Bhagat

Don't be serious, be sincere.

Cher

I'm not gonna become Ann Bancroft or Meryl Streep and have all the burden that being a "serious actress" entails.

William Shakespeare

In persons grafted in a serious trust, Negligence is a crime.

Richard Caborn

We have had the pantomime. Let's now have the serious stuff.

Bryan Clay

Repercussions are serious and they will take you places.

Carl Friedrich Gauss

I have had my results for a long time: but I do not yet know how I am to arrive at them.

Carl Friedrich Gauss

You know that I write slowly. This is chiefly because I am never satisfied until I have said as much as possible in a few words, and writing briefly takes far more time than writing at length.

Charles W. Chesnutt

There's time enough, but none to spare.

Charles de Lint

In the dark attics of our minds, all times mingle.

Charles Dickens

A boy's story is the best that is ever told.

Charles Caleb Colton

Tomorrow! It is a period nowhere to be found in all the registers of time, unless, perchance, in the fool's calendar.

Charles Caleb Colton

Time is the measurer of all things, but is itself immeasurable, and the grand discloser of all things, but is itself undisclosed.

Charles Caleb Colton

Time ... advances like the slowest tide, but retreats like the swiftest torrent.

Charles Caleb Colton

Time,- that black and narrow isthmus between two eternities.