Jason Segel Quotations

The power dynamics in a relationship are going to be fluid over a long period of time, so to wait for 'perfect' is going to be a mistake.

One of the pitfalls of a romantic comedy is that you know how it's going to end.

I did a show called 'Freaks and Geeks' when I was very young. And I had the naivete and arrogance of youth. You know, I really assumed that when the show got cancelled, like, oh, it doesn't matter, you just keep rolling, you know. I'm about to be the biggest star of the world. And then I was met with five years of unemployment.

Funny enough, there have been puppets in everything I've written because I have a huge love of puppets. There's a big puppet musical at the end of 'Sarah Marshall.' I wrote 'The Muppets.'

I was a huge Muppet fan growing up. I want to bring it back to the early '80s Muppet movies, when the scripts could have been performed by humans.

I went on a Hot Pocket diet where I ate two Hot Pockets every four hours. I only had the pepperoni pizza flavour. I didn't go anywhere near the cheeseburger macaroni.

I was making out with this woman, and my shirt was off, and she leaned over and, in a really cute, girly voice, went, 'Hey, fatty!'

I would love to play a villain someday in that I think that what I've done with my whole career is walk this tightrope between charming and creepy, and I always fall on the charming side. I'd like to fall on the creepy side and be like one of those scary old men, like really charming villains.

My belief in God is that God wants you. God wants you to believe in him, or it, whatever you would call it.

You guys own the Muppets, and you're just kind of sitting on 'em. I really love the Muppets, and I think I know how to bring the franchise back.

The movies that I love and model after, like 'Annie Hall,' 'When Harry Met Sally,' and in particular for me, 'Broadcast News,' are the tone of life, which isn't a setup punch-line every two minutes.

Kermit was the Everyman, the original Tom Hanks, but I have a special place in my heart for Fozzie Bear. The classic borderline hacky entertainer.

I've been 6'4'' since I was 12. Goofy is somewhere in the lexicon.

I've just grown a little disappointed with 'Muppets in the Old West', 'Muppets Under Water' and all these weird concept movies. I just want to go take it back to the early 80's, when it was about the Muppets trying to put on a show. That's what I'm trying to bring back.

There were some super-lean years, yeah. I'm six feet four. And I entered into this period all of a sudden when I was too big to play a kid and I was too young to play an adult. Like, I couldn't play the lawyer, but I couldn't play the high school kid anymore.

If you can find the line between sympathetic and creepy, you have reached a very funny area.

I always have awkward relationships with the ladies for whatever reason. I don't know and so here we are. I was able to sort of take all of those terrible, terrible, terrible dates and turn them into a money making venture.

I have a similar issue with people who hire me as I do with women. 'You have to have a particular taste to want to be around me. I have a slightly askew view.

Fozzie Bear has so many bear puns in this script - like, 'Trac is grizzly!' 'This is unbearable!' It's the greatest.

I sold my first script when I was 21 - this kids' adventure movie that never got made. I just bought that one back, actually. I'm pretty psyched about it.

One thing that I think never goes out of style is just purity. Niceness and purity. And the Muppets have never lost that. Kermit especially is just wide-eyed wonder, unblinking. And he cant blink. Which I think probably helps.

The first time my mom found condoms in my room, she literally started crying hysterically.

When you're a kid, Kermit is Tom Hanks. He's Tom Hanks for kids or Jimmy Stewart for kids. He's truly the every man.

I like to be challenged acting wise and I like to do things that I'm scared of.

People have a lot less leniency for some reason for women straying from a relationship than they do for men.

The whole thing that drew me to doing an animated film is that you're freed from the physical limitations of your physical body. All of a sudden, you get to be something that has nothing to do with the fact that I'm a 6'4", lumbering dude, and that is really exciting.

It [voicing animation] is very freeing. Nobody in the cast is doing their voice. No one is talking like they normally talk and it's because, all of a sudden, you're freed from the physical limitations of how you look, which is amazing.

For some reason, I was born without a sense of embarrassment or shame.

That's the best advice I can give - when you're trying to write a comedy, first write a drama, and then make it funny.

If it's achievement that you place your value in, you're never going to achieve enough. If it's power, you always need to wield power over others. If it's money, you'll never be rich enough. But if you do something and are a part of what is happening, then you're always in it and it's always enough.

I'm better looking in person.

I have always felt like romantic comedies are incredibly predictable. You look at the poster and you know those two are ending up together at the end of the movie.

We have reached a very cynical era of comedy. The Muppets have proven, for 40 years, that you can get laughs without ever doing it at someone else's expense, and I think that that's a really important thing for kids to realize.

A man can certainly be a Muppet. Being a Muppet is a state of mind. It's about finding that little part of you that's unique, and not being embarrassed by it, but cherishing it.

My mother taught me to be nice to everybody. And she said something before I left home. She said, 'I want you to always remember that the person you are in this world is a reflection of the job I did as a mother.'

Part of growing up is not waiting in line at a hipster breakfast restaurant. The eggs taste the same across the street. I promise.

I don't like when I watch a fight in a movie that's perfectly worded and very articulate. If you were able to be that composed, you wouldn't be fighting! Fighting in real life is sloppy.