Only when you realize that the gospel has nothing to do with your obedience but with Christ's obedience for you, will you start to obey. The only Christians who end up getting better are those who realize that if they don't get better, God will love them anyway.
The more I focused on my need to get better the worse I actually got - the more neurotic and self-conscious and self-absorbed I became.
Christianity is not about good people getting better. It is good news for bad people coping with their failure to be good.