Dave Attell Kids Quotations

When I was a kid, I really loved Indians. Native Americans. Pardon. Me.

If I had a kid, I'd give him a name that would make everyone would want to say his name. I'd call him, Pizza-Pussy-Santa. I would! Cause everybody likes one of those things.

A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are to actually go out. They just really want to get a picture to post to their buddies, and that's about it.

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people ""the cops."" But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!