Fran Lebowitz Tables Quotations

A great many people in Los Angeles are on special diets that restrict their intake of synthetic foods. The reason for this appears to be a widely held belief that organically grown fruits and vegetables make the cocaine work faster.

The best fame is a writer's fame. It's enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat.

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.

Writers get exactly the right amount of fame: just enough to get a good table in a restaurant but not enough so that people are constantly interrupting you while you're eating dinner.

Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have ever been happy to see soybeans.