Stephen Colbert Best Quotations

I have a mug that actually verifies that I'm the world's best dad. That's a mug. That's not me talking. You can't just buy those.

Bush has a real problem on his hands here, John: What honor should he bestow on Karl Rove?

I have a morality. I don't know if it's the best morality. And I do like thinking. If people perceive that as a moral intellectualism, that's fine. That's up to them to decide.