Stephen Colbert News Quotations

(on fox news).... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled in poetry.

Anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news... at you.

Gravitas is the soup bone in the stew of television news.

The greatest threat facing American today - next to voter fraud, the Western Pinebark beetle, and the memory foam mattress - is the national news media.

It's a game. That's why we call it 'the news.' It's just a game.

I'm not here to affect you politically or socially. I'm here to make you laugh. I use the news as the palette for my jokes.

I'm a huge news junkie. I love what the news does.

Foreign newspapers: if they've got nothing to hide, how come they don't print them in English?

I'm a big fan. I've always been a news junkie,