Eddie Izzard Sarcasm Quotations

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

The National Rifle Association says, 'Guns don't kill people. People do'. But I think the gun helps.

If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.

Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: "Girls girls, ooo". Naturally you want to look your best, and God says "No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!"