Famous Quotes & Sayings

Larry David

People have often wondered how they'd feel if they were adopted. I think it's funny.

Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words mank and ind. What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.

Susan Stroman

Mel has written 10 new songs, and they're very funny. It's a year and a half away from opening on Broadway.

Billy Corgan

The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock.

Bill Shankly

A football team is like a piano. You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.

Bill Engvall

He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot."

Bill Engvall

My son is 12 now, and is really getting into girls. A lot. But the thing about twelve year old boys is that they don't possess what I like to call that ... discretionary gene yet. We were walking home from the ballfield the other day and there was a woman walking towards us who was ... gifted. I saw them, and I saw him see them. But she was too close for me to go, "Dude, shut up." She hadn't walked two feet behind us and he goes "God dang, did you see the SIZE of those things?" And all I could say was "Yeah, I did!"

Bill Engvall

No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them working for food or gas money. You can only kill so many possum.

Bill Engvall

I thought "RV" stood for "Recreational Vehicle." No! It stands for "Ruins Vacations."

Vince Young

Respect. A lot of people who watch and understand the game of football could see how much I wanted that for my teammates and fans and family. It's been real crazy ever since, but it's been a blessing, and the hard work paid off a whole lot.

Homer Simpson

I'm hittin' the road. Maybe I'll drop you a line some day from wherever I wind up in this crazy old world.

Becky G

I think a part of it was the way my parents raised me. I think that's part of being raised in a big Latin family. To get an adult's attention you have to do something crazy, and my way was dancing on tables and singing and dancing. That was my way of getting everyone's attention. I'm loud and I like being loud.

Becca Fitzpatrick

I’m not stealing it. We’re stranded. This is called borrowing.” “This is called you’re crazy.

Becca Fitzpatrick

Nora: This is crazy. Patch: I'm crazy. About you.

Becca Fitzpatrick

I learned that I was either crazy in love with you, or putting on the best performance of my life.' -Nora (PG 263)

Becca Fitzpatrick

This is crazy," I told Patch in an undertone. "I'm crazy." He was on the brink of smiling again. "About you.

Becca Fitzpatrick

You're crazy. You're impossible.' 'I'm crazy?' He tipped my chin up and planted a quick, rough kiss on my mouth. 'And I must be crazy for putting up with it.

Becca Fitzpatrick

And here I thought they were called Peeping Toms." I didn't need to see him to know he wore a smile. "Stop laughing," I said, my cheeks hot with humiliation. "Get me down." "Jump." "What?" "I'll catch you." "Are you crazy? Go inside and open the window. Or get a ladder." "I don't need a ladder. Jump. I'm not going to drop you.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I don't understand these people anymore, that travel the commuter-trains to their dormitory towns. These people that call themselves human, but, by a pressure they do not feel, are forced to do their work like ants. With what do they fill their time when they are free of work on their silly little Sundays? I am very fortunate in my profession. I feel like a farmer, with the airstrips as my fields. Those that have once tasted this kind of fare will not forget it ever. Not so, my friends?

Bill Smith

It's a silly fool who thinks killing an animal with one tool is different than killing him with another.

C. S. Lewis

And He [God] and you are two things of such a kind that if you really get into any kind of touch with Him you will, in fact, be humble--delightedly humble, feeling the infinite relief of having for once got rid of all the silly nonsense about your own dignity which has made you restless and unhappy all your life.

Catullus

There is nothing more silly than a silly laugh.

Carrie Brownstein

From a self-conscious standpoint, it's hard to see myself on a screen in a way that isn't just me playing music or doing something silly.

Bill Burr

I wasn't the good looking guy, I wasn't the hot chick, I wasn't the fat guy, I didn't have a catchphrase, I didn't wear a silly hat. I was just trying to improve as a comedian.

Bill Burr

Before I even knew what stand up was, I tried to make people laugh at school because that was how I made friends, so I think that's how I got drawn into comedy and obviously I was just some kid at school being silly, so the first time I saw a professional comedian and how smooth and funny the person was I totally got into standup and I would say obviously Richard Pryor was the guy. He's the greatest of all time and then George Carlin, Sam Kinison, Bill Cosby. It's so weird to bring up his name now but leaving out his off-stage antics... you could learn a lot from him.

Bertrand Russell

To avoid the various foolish opinions to which mankind are prone, no superhuman genius is required. A few simple rules will keep you, not from all error, but from silly error.

Anton LaVey

It’s too bad that stupidity isn’t painful.