Homer Simpson Quotations

Let's just say that on this day, a million years ago, a dude was born who most of us think was magic. But others don't, and that's cool. But we're probably right. Amen." - Homer Simpson

Olive oil ... asparagus ... if your mother wasn't so fancy, we could shop at the gas station like normal people.

I don't even believe in Jebus... Save me Jebus

Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

Hello? Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Owww look at me Marge, I'm making people Happy! I'm the magical man, from Happy Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lolly Pop Lane!!!!...... By the way I was being sarcastic...

Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family.

Marge! Look at all this great stuff I found at the Marina. It was just sitting in some guy's boat!

Marge, it's 3 AM. Shouldn't you be baking?

Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you... Homer: Is it Batman? Marge: No, he's a scientist. Homer: Batman's a scientist?! Marge: It's not Batman!

(Lisa) "I'm going to become a vegetarian" (Homer) "Does that mean you're not going to eat any pork?" "Yes" "Bacon?" "Yes Dad" Ham?" "Dad all those meats come from the same animal" "Right Lisa, some wonderful, magical animal!

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

I'm hittin' the road. Maybe I'll drop you a line some day from wherever I wind up in this crazy old world.

You can be the first to try out the new guest bedroom I built. Remember, if the building inspector comes by, it's not a room, it's a windowbox

Unlike most of you, I am not a nut.

To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?

Boy , Moe, that team sure sucked last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

Flanders: I think we hit something. Homer: I hope it's Flanders

A hundred bucks for a comic book? Who drew it, Michaelmelangelo?

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that.

I'm not telling you, 'Never eat a hamburger.' Just eat the good ones with real beef, you know, like the ones from that mom-and-pop diner down the street, ... And it's so good that when you take a bite out of that burger, you just know somewhere in the world a vegan is crying.

If you're going to get mad at me everytime I do something stupid then I guess I'll have to stop doing stupid things!

Chief justice of the supreme court. What great men he would join - John Marshall, Charles Evans Hughes, Warren Berger, mmmm burger

If he's so smart, how come he's dead?

I am not crazy. It's the TV that's crazy. Aren't you, TV?

AHHH. Donuts. . . What can't they do.