Famous Quotes & Sayings

Kurt Braunohler

I was writing this really long joke about the smell of poop, and I was like, 'What am I doing with my life?' I started to think about why I was a comedian, and then I came up with a reason for existence, which is: inserting absurdity or stupidity into strangers' lives in order to make the world a better place.

Baruch Spinoza

He who seeks equality between unequals seeks an absurdity.

Elfriede Jelinek

was made into an award-winning film, ''for her musical flow of voices and countervoices in novels and plays that with extraordinary linguistic zeal reveal the absurdity of society's cliches and their subjugating power.

T. J. Miller

Funny is as funny does, and funny puts on a walrus mask and slowly gyrates in a mall food court. I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates.

Anne Lamott

When writers make us shake our heads with the exactness of their prose and their truths, and even make us laugh about ourselves or life, our buoyancy is restored. We are given a shot at dancing with, or at least clapping along with, the absurdity of life, instead of being squashed by it over and over again.

David Lynch

The concept of absurdity is something I'm attracted to.

David Lynch

Absurdity is what I like most in life.

Arthur Schopenhauer

There is no absurdity so obvious that it cannot be firmly planted in the human head if you only begin to impose it before the age of five, by constantly repeating it with an air of great solemnity

Peter Sarsgaard

I get so happy to see someone like Jodie descend into absurdity and be human.

Ian Caldwell

The Bible never tells us what Jesus looked like, and in the earliest surviving paintings of him, he is sometimes depicted as short-haired, sometimes as beardless, with no authoritative version winning out over the others. Yet around 400 A.D., all of the other competing images were replaced by the long-haired, bearded Jesus we know today.

Pat Robertson

It depends on how you look at culture. If you look over the course of a hundred years, I think the gradual erosion of the consensus that's held our country together is probably more serious than a few bearded terrorists who fly into buildings.

Yuri Urbanovich

How come explosives, guns, grenades and munitions were delivered at this school unnoticed and in advance? How come a truck packed with heavily armed, masked, bearded militants could travel so easily through one of the most militarized regions in Russia crossing all checkpoints and descend at the school? It's inconceivable.

Michael Sims

Henry David Thoreau was an oddball job quitter and ne'er-do-well who evolved into the bearded sage of literature, natural history, and civil liberties.

Charles Simmons

He who feasts every day, feasts no day.

Dave Barry

In Spain, attempting to obtain a chicken salad sandwich, you wind up with a dish whose name, when you look it up in your Spanish-English dictionary, turns out to mean: Eel with big abcess.

Catherine Bertini

We need a new definition of malnutrition. Malnutrition means under- and over-nutrition. Malnutrition means emaciated and obese.

Bryan Q. Miller

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill.

Kathleen Blanco

The power is out, the phones are down and there is no food or water, and many trees are down.

Niger Innis

The slaves had food stamps, too. It was called 'scraps from Massa's table.'

Kurt Vonnegut

It is harder to be unhappy when you are eating.

Ed Begley, Jr.

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare.

David Hume

Virtue, like wholesome food, is better than poisons, however corrected.

Charles Dickens

I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.

Charles Dickens

All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.

Charles Dickens

He would make a lovely corpse.

Charles Dickens

It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.

Charles Dickens

Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.

Charles Dickens

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!

Charles Dickens

If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.

Charles Caleb Colton

Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner.

Charles Caleb Colton

I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent.

Charles Dickens

Nothingever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the onset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it quite as well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have a malady in the less attractive forms.

Charles Dickens

Make them laugh, make them cry, make them wait.

Charles Spurgeon

My soul, never laugh at sin's fooleries, lest thou come to smile at sin itself. It is thine enemy, and thy Lord's enemy.

Charles Spurgeon

A religion that cannot stand a little laughter must be a very rotten one.

Alan Watts

There is no mission, nor interest to convert, and yet I believe that if this state of consciousness could become more universal, the pretentious nonsense which passes for the serious business of the world would dissolve in laughter. We should see at once that the high ideals for which we are killing and regimenting each other are empty and abstract substiutes for the unheeded miracles that surround us - not only in the obvious wonders of nature but also in the overwhelming uncanny fact of mere existence.

Alan Watts

Just as true humor is laughter at oneself, true humanity is knowledge of oneself.

Alan Watts

The point is seeing that THIS - the immediate, everyday and present experience - is IT, the entire and ultimate point for the existence of a universe. I believe that if this state of consciousness could become more universal, the pretentious nonsense which passes for the serious business of the world would dissolve in laughter...

Alan Watts

Real religion is the transformation of anxiety into laughter.

Alan Rickman

I do take my work seriously and the way to do that is not to take yourself too seriously.

Steve Carrigan

We would really like to see the malls do something together. I don't think they're working as efficiently as they could.

Justin Arecchi

We're going to have the same kind of thing people can see in a strip mall somewhere or in a theme park.

Julian Tavarez

(When) I go to the mall and out to eat, people still recognize me, ... Every Sunday, when I go to church, they recognize me and look at me like, 'Gosh what is he doing here? He doesn't play for us anymore.' People tell me, 'Why don't you get away from here, it's too cold. I say, 'No, it's the only place I know my way out and my way in.'

Patrice Duker

Malls are trying to be something to everybody.

James Wyatt

You can get a sleep study done in a strip mall now without ever meeting with a (qualified) specialist.

Matt Will

The malls are old. The malls are dying.

Karen Hildebrand

As soon as the mall opens in the morning, we try to keep the noise to a minimum.

Tom Taylor

Think of it as a shopping mall and their station is the little store in the back next to where you get your nails done.

James Johnson

I've made my decision. People know the mall is there. ... I don't think they need a blinking, red sign.

Dennis Potter

Words themselves - the very material of our discourse increasingly take on masks or disguises

Alexander Herzen

False gods must be repudiated, but that is not all: The reasons for their existence must be sought beneath their masks.

Dr. Prettyman

Where else can you get a steel sword, put on a mask and then try and kill somebody. And it's all perfectly sanctioned.

Mark Dixon

We don't have a pile of masks sitting off to one side in anticipation of a pandemic.

Benjamin Franklin

Men take more pains to mask than to mend.

Joanna Scott

Masks are wonderfully paradoxical in this way: while they may hide the physical reality, they can show us how a person wants to be seen.

Kelly Stinnett

I was always scared by not having a mask on. I feel more comfortable that way.

Kelly Ioane

We have a lot of people sick right now and others getting sick. Keri is playing with a mask and getting sick on top of that.

Toon Hermans

A red nose is the smallest mask in the world

Charles Dickens

Poetry's unnat'ral; no man ever talked poetry 'cept a beadle on boxin' day.

Charles Dickens

An observer of men who finds himself steadily repelled by some apparently trifling thing in a stranger is right to give it great weight. It may be the clue to the whole mystery. A hair or two will show where a lion is hidden. A very little key will open a very heavy door.

Charles Dickens

The more man knows of man, the better for the common brotherhood among men.

Charles Dickens

It is required of every man," the ghost returned, "that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide; and, if that spirit goes not forth in life, it is condemned to do so after death.

Charles Dickens

When a man bleeds inwardly, it is a dangerous thing for himself; but when he laughs inwardly, it bodes no good to other people.

Charles Dickens

Most men unconsciously judge the world from themselves, and it will be very generally found that those who sneer habitually at human nature, and affect to despise it, are among its worst and least pleasant samples.

Charles Caleb Colton

It is not every man that can afford to wear a shabby coat.

Charles Caleb Colton

When we are in the company of sensible men, we ought to be doubly cautious of talking too much, lest we lose two good things, their good opinion and our own improvement; for what we have to say we know, but what they have to say we know not.

Charles Caleb Colton

No man can promise himself even fifty years of life, but any man may, if he please, live in the proportion of fifty years in forty-let him rise early, that he may have the day before him, and let him make the most of the day, by determining to expend it on two sorts of acquaintance only-those by whom something may be got, and those from whom something maybe learned.

Kofi Annan

Usually, because society's inequalities puts them at risk -- unjust, unconscionable risk.

Larry Coker

This puts us right where we want to be ? things will get real interesting.

Jim Stone

This puts them on the same side of the table as you,

Francis Bradley

There are those who understand everything till one puts it into words

Jeff Long

Certainly, I don't think it puts us at a (recruiting) disadvantage.

Phil Rizzuto

Well, that kind of puts the damper on even a Yankee win!

Mack Strong

He comes out to compete. He comes out and puts up MVP numbers.

David Whitehead

It essentially puts our little town on the map.

Phil Garner

Roy is not a promoter. He's very laid-back. That's not a show he puts on.

Diablo Cody

I don't know why, but I've always been a sucker for roller coasters in movies.

Austin Stowell

I want to get out there and do anything, but I still don't know about riding roller coasters. I've never been on one. There is something about being strapped in and on a track; I always feel like we're going to be launched off somewhere.

Henry F. Ashurst

Politics is like roller skating. You go partly where you want to go, and partly where the damn things take you.

George Papandreou

Greece's history in the drachma was an up-and-down history, a roller coaster.

Dave Wannstedt

It's what we've talked about for two months; it's a roller coaster, things go up and down,

Jon Huertas

I don't really like roller coasters!

Kevin Hart

Really, I don't like roller coasters.

Robert Fulghum

Once you know where the roller coaster is going, are you in for the ride?

Rush Limbaugh

I have to tell you, every day is a roller coaster.

Christine Baldauf

We're getting there. It's been a long two weeks off where we didn't play crossovers, so we had two weeks without games. We're slowly getting back into it.

Dan Johnson

We're approaching this slowly and methodically. There's a lot of work to be done.

Billy Collins

I learned snails don't have ears. They live in silence. They go slowly. Slowly, slowly in silence.

Mike Hill

I think it went really well. The word is slowly spreading. We're starting to get more people.

Dawn Staley

This team is the most undisciplined team that we've had. They're just really undisciplined. They're not a team. This is the first team that's not a team, so we're going to get to the problem. We'll slowly but surely get to it, but we'll get to it.