Famous Quotes & Sayings

T. J. Miller

I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates.

Kurt Braunohler

I was writing this really long joke about the smell of poop, and I was like, 'What am I doing with my life?' I started to think about why I was a comedian, and then I came up with a reason for existence, which is: inserting absurdity or stupidity into strangers' lives in order to make the world a better place.

Baruch Spinoza

He who seeks equality between unequals seeks an absurdity.

T. J. Miller

Funny is as funny does, and funny puts on a walrus mask and slowly gyrates in a mall food court. I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates.

Michael Hastings

Despite the absurdity and the silliness and the triviality of the entire campaign experience, there is also something, as non-cynical as this sounds, kind of uplifting and strange about watching democracy unfold.

Elfriede Jelinek

was made into an award-winning film, ''for her musical flow of voices and countervoices in novels and plays that with extraordinary linguistic zeal reveal the absurdity of society's cliches and their subjugating power.

Marshall Herskovitz

The notion that moving toward renewable energy will kill jobs is an absurdity on its face. The notion that we have to live smaller lifestyles; not have the American way of life or give up the American Dream is just ridiculous. It is the opposite of the case; a new energy paradigm will create opportunity.

Peter Sarsgaard

I get so happy to see someone like Jodie descend into absurdity and be human.

Arthur Schopenhauer

There is no absurdity so obvious that it cannot be firmly planted in the human head if you only begin to impose it before the age of five, by constantly repeating it with an air of great solemnity

Ian Caldwell

The Bible never tells us what Jesus looked like, and in the earliest surviving paintings of him, he is sometimes depicted as short-haired, sometimes as beardless, with no authoritative version winning out over the others. Yet around 400 A.D., all of the other competing images were replaced by the long-haired, bearded Jesus we know today.

Pat Robertson

It depends on how you look at culture. If you look over the course of a hundred years, I think the gradual erosion of the consensus that's held our country together is probably more serious than a few bearded terrorists who fly into buildings.

Michael Sims

Henry David Thoreau was an oddball job quitter and ne'er-do-well who evolved into the bearded sage of literature, natural history, and civil liberties.

Yuri Urbanovich

How come explosives, guns, grenades and munitions were delivered at this school unnoticed and in advance? How come a truck packed with heavily armed, masked, bearded militants could travel so easily through one of the most militarized regions in Russia crossing all checkpoints and descend at the school? It's inconceivable.

Charles Dudley Warner

Lettuce is like conversation; it must be fresh and crisp, so sparkling that you scarcely notice the bitter in it.

Charles de Gaulle

How can anyone govern a nation that has two hundred and forty-six different kinds of cheese?

Charles Dickens

Hallo! A great deal of steam! the pudding was out of the copper. A smell like a washing-day! That was the cloth. A smell like an eating-house and a pastrycook's next door to each other, with a laundress's next door to that. That was the pudding.

Charles Simmons

He who feasts every day, feasts no day.

Tom Lehrer

When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex.

Tim Gunn

I love HGTV. I love the Food Network.

Roger Morris

Venissa is a perfect destination for day-trippers from Venice proper who are searching for great food and a little adventure; it's a 30-minute jaunt by vaporetto from St. Mark's, quicker by water taxi.

Diane von Furstenberg

Italy will always have the best food.

Dave Barry

In Spain, attempting to obtain a chicken salad sandwich, you wind up with a dish whose name, when you look it up in your Spanish-English dictionary, turns out to mean: Eel with big abcess.

Carol Leifer

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

Carol Leifer

It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon.

Carl Friedrich Gauss

Ask her to wait a moment I am almost done.

Agnes Repplier

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.

Agnes Repplier

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

Abba Eban

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

Alan King

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

Alan Kay

Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.

Charlie Chaplin

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

Carol Vorderman

I've never once heard my mum shout and she's 83 now. She's incredible. She's very, very happy, slightly eccentric but loves laughing, which I do too.

Carol Vorderman

I would put belly laughing at the top of my highlights list. They always say that laughter is the best medicine.

Carlos Mencia

If you aren't laughing, you aren't living!

Agnes Repplier

Just as we are often moved to merriment for no other reason than that the occasion calls for seriousness, so we are correspondingly serious when invited too freely to be amused.

Agnes Repplier

Laughter springs from the lawless part of our nature, and is purifying only in so far as there is a natural and unschooled goodness in the human heart.

Agnes Repplier

We have but the memories of past good cheer, we have but the echoes of departed laughter. In vain we look and listen for the mirth that has died away. In vain we seek to question the gray ghosts of old-time revelers.

Agnes Repplier

Laughter springs from the lawless part of our nature.

Agnes Repplier

What monstrous absurdities and paradoxes have resisted whole batteries of serious arguments, and then crumbled swiftly into dust before the ringing death-knell of a laugh!

Alan King

Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.

Steve Carrigan

We would really like to see the malls do something together. I don't think they're working as efficiently as they could.

Justin Arecchi

We're going to have the same kind of thing people can see in a strip mall somewhere or in a theme park.

Julian Tavarez

(When) I go to the mall and out to eat, people still recognize me, ... Every Sunday, when I go to church, they recognize me and look at me like, 'Gosh what is he doing here? He doesn't play for us anymore.' People tell me, 'Why don't you get away from here, it's too cold. I say, 'No, it's the only place I know my way out and my way in.'

Patrice Duker

Malls are trying to be something to everybody.

James Wyatt

You can get a sleep study done in a strip mall now without ever meeting with a (qualified) specialist.

Jeff Brooks

At first, (the roundabout) was really weird driving, but I like it. I think it'll move traffic better when the mall opens.

Tom Taylor

Think of it as a shopping mall and their station is the little store in the back next to where you get your nails done.

Laura Holtslander

It's on Route 50, so you don't even have to be a resident for it to be convenient. It's going to be adjacent to a strip mall and that's what people want. They don't want it be a destination.

Jamie Graham

It's like being in a mall every day. I just like the feel of this school.

Dennis Potter

Words themselves - the very material of our discourse increasingly take on masks or disguises

Benjamin Franklin

Men take more pains to mask than to mend.

Dr. Prettyman

Where else can you get a steel sword, put on a mask and then try and kill somebody. And it's all perfectly sanctioned.

Mark Dixon

We don't have a pile of masks sitting off to one side in anticipation of a pandemic.

Kelly Stinnett

I was always scared by not having a mask on. I feel more comfortable that way.

Joanna Scott

Masks are wonderfully paradoxical in this way: while they may hide the physical reality, they can show us how a person wants to be seen.

Kelly Ioane

We have a lot of people sick right now and others getting sick. Keri is playing with a mask and getting sick on top of that.

Alexander Herzen

False gods must be repudiated, but that is not all: The reasons for their existence must be sought beneath their masks.

Jewish Proverb

Pride is the mask of one's own faults.

Carol Roth

Men, if you are in a position of power or authority, please respectfully continue to mentor and work with talented individuals and those with promise, regardless if they are men or women.

Carol Leifer

All my other relationships with men, there was so much maneuvering and strategic decisions and stuff.

Carol Moseley Braun

It's time to take the 'Men Only' sign off the White House door.

Carol Vorderman

I have had stalkers over the years. The police deal with it but it is very scary. One man kept turning up where we filmed 'Countdown in Leeds,' which was scary. It was sad as he'd been sectioned and thought I was talking to him through the TV.

Carlos Fuentes

The women I have loved I have desired for themselves, but also because I feared myself.

Carlos Castaneda

Self importance is man's greatest enemy.

Carlos Castaneda

Man lives only to learn. And if he learns it is because it is the nature of his lot, for good or bad.

Carlos Castaneda

We are men and our lot in life is to learn and to be hurled into inconceivable new worlds.

Carlos Castaneda

The greatest flaw of human beings is to remain glued to the inventory of reason. Reason doesn't deal with man as energy. Reason deals with instruments that create energy, but it has never seriously occurred to reason that we are better than instruments: we are organisms that create energy. We are bubbles of energy.

Larry Coker

This puts us right where we want to be ? things will get real interesting.

Jim Stone

This puts them on the same side of the table as you,

Kofi Annan

Usually, because society's inequalities puts them at risk -- unjust, unconscionable risk.

Francis Bradley

There are those who understand everything till one puts it into words

Jeff Long

Certainly, I don't think it puts us at a (recruiting) disadvantage.

Mack Strong

He comes out to compete. He comes out and puts up MVP numbers.

David Whitehead

It essentially puts our little town on the map.

Phil Rizzuto

Well, that kind of puts the damper on even a Yankee win!

Phil Garner

Roy is not a promoter. He's very laid-back. That's not a show he puts on.

Diablo Cody

I don't know why, but I've always been a sucker for roller coasters in movies.

Austin Stowell

I want to get out there and do anything, but I still don't know about riding roller coasters. I've never been on one. There is something about being strapped in and on a track; I always feel like we're going to be launched off somewhere.

George Papandreou

Greece's history in the drachma was an up-and-down history, a roller coaster.

Dave Wannstedt

It's what we've talked about for two months; it's a roller coaster, things go up and down,

Jon Huertas

I don't really like roller coasters!

Henry F. Ashurst

Politics is like roller skating. You go partly where you want to go, and partly where the damn things take you.

Kevin Hart

Really, I don't like roller coasters.

Rush Limbaugh

I have to tell you, every day is a roller coaster.

Robert Fulghum

Once you know where the roller coaster is going, are you in for the ride?

Christine Baldauf

We're getting there. It's been a long two weeks off where we didn't play crossovers, so we had two weeks without games. We're slowly getting back into it.

Billy Collins

I learned snails don't have ears. They live in silence. They go slowly. Slowly, slowly in silence.

Dan Johnson

We're approaching this slowly and methodically. There's a lot of work to be done.

Mike Hill

I think it went really well. The word is slowly spreading. We're starting to get more people.

Dawn Staley

This team is the most undisciplined team that we've had. They're just really undisciplined. They're not a team. This is the first team that's not a team, so we're going to get to the problem. We'll slowly but surely get to it, but we'll get to it.