Terry Pratchett Ifs Quotations

The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.

If it wasn't for the fun and money, I really don't know why I'd bother.

If women were as good as men they'd be a lot better!

Perhaps it would be simpler if you just did what you're told and didn't try to understand things.

It must be powerful language if you canna make oout what the heel it’s goin’ on aboot!

If Not You, Who Else?

If I knew that I could die, I would live. My life, my death, my choice.

Cats don't hunt seals. They would if they knew what they were and where to find them. But they don't, so that's all right.

He felt as if he had been shipwrecked on the Titanic, but in the nick of time had been rescued. By the Lusitania

We sleepwalk through our lives, because how could we live if we were always this awake?

If failure had no penalty success would not be a prize.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do, if you ever find anything I wouldn't do.

If per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged

What was the point of education, he thought, if people went out afterward and used it?

This wasn't food - it was what food became if it had been good and gone to food heaven.

There will be justice," said Brutha. "If there is no justice, there is nothing.

Knowing things is magical, if other people don't know them.

Even if it's not your fault, it's your responsibility.

If you don't know when to be a human being, you don't know when to be a witch.

They'd smash up the world if they thought it would make a pretty noise.

Granddad was superstitious about books. He thought that if you had enough of them around, education leaked out, like radioactivity.