David Sedaris Mind Quotations

What I really hated, of course, was my mind. There must have been an off switch somewhere, but I was damned if I could find it.

It is funny the things that run through your mind when you're sitting in your underpants in front of a pair of strangers.

God was someone I wound up turning over and over in my mind each night... Was He punishing me with this meal or was He rewarding me? Did He actively watch me or take me for granted like a fish you don't notice until it's floating on the surface of the tank?

but I have no mind for business and considered staying awake to be enough of an accomplishment.

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.