Groucho Marx People Quotations

I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make dry toast, instant coffee, hearts of lettuce and brownies. But as an added attraction, at no extra charge, my idea was to put a fried egg on the cover. I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.

A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.

I'm not going to pay good money to join a club that lets in people like me.

I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.

My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.

Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman

Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.