Henny Youngman Giving Quotations

A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.

He doesn't get ulcers - he gives them.

The hitter asks the owner to give him a big raise so he can go somewhere he's never been, and the owner says "You mean third base?"

I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.

My brother-in-law had to give up his last job because of illness. His boss became sick of him.

When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter."