Henny Youngman Quotations

My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."

I asked a Jewish man, "Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?" He said, "Yes", and walked away.

A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"

During the war an Italian girl saved my life. She hid me in her basement in Cleveland.

A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!

His motto is "Love Thy Neighbor". His neighbor is an 18 year old hooker.

She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, "Tut, Tut!"

He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.

Now, the band that inspired that great saying, "Stop The Music!!"