Jack Handy Home Quotations

As a young boy, when you get splashed by a mud puddle on the way to school, you wonder if you should go home and change, but be late for school, or go to school the way you are; dirty and soaking wet. Well, while he tried to decide, I drove by and splashed him again.

Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up