Jack Handy Trying Quotations

If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we build to that.

Marta was watching the football game with me when she said, ""You know, most of these sports are based on the idea of one group protecting its territory from invasion by another group."" ""Yeah,"" I said, trying not to laugh. Girls are funny.

If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control.

Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.