You might be a redneck if your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.
You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.
You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.
You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.
You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
You might be a redneck if you work with a shirt off... and so does your husband.
You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine.
You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.
You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.
You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.
You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.
If you ahve ever unloaded your pickup by backing up really fast and slamming on the brakes, you might be a redneck.
If you have more fish on your wall than pictures, you might be a redneck.
If someone at Fleet Farm offers you assistance and they don't work there you might live in Wisconsin.
You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck
If you think a quaterhorse is that ride in front of Kmart.. You might be a rednneck
You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn...
You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.
You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
You might be a redneck if you consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve.
You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.
You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.
You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.
You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.
You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to Georgia on My Mind.
You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.
You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.
You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.
You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.
You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.
You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is.
You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.