Jeff Foxworthy Rand Quotations

Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.

My grandma's the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she's doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot!

You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.