Joan Rivers Fashion Quotations

Everyone takes fashion so seriously! It's fashion - enjoy it!

I hate Billings, Montana. They have a fashion show at Sears Roebuck

I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.

My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.

The last time I appeared in Las Vegas, they were wearing hoop skirts and Davy Crockett hats, ... But they say 'What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.' And as far as fashion is concerned, that's a good thing.

I could never be in a cult. For starters, they never accessorize properly. David Koresh had no fashion sense, Jim Jones wore leisure suits, and I don't care how charismatic Osama bin Laden was, an AK-47 and an insulin drip do not take the place of drop earrings or a well-placed brooch.

"I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'"

I'm sure some of you are wondering whether my breasts are real. Let me just explain to you. This one is, this one isn't.

I said to my husband, 'my boobs have gone, my stomach's gone, say something nice about my legs.' He said, 'Blue goes with everything.'

Does fashion matter? Always - though not quite as much after death.

You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are 'age appropriate.' For me that would be a shroud.

My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.

Learn what not to expect. Irish catholic they get sh**** little rings. Irish women get crappy rings. Baptist get the worst because they get the rings under water. When it comes up, it's garbage. Jewish, big rings. Episcopalian big rings. Italians-the best, because they get them off of dead people, and second wives get the biggest rings of all.

All my way through college, I worked my way as a window dresser for Lord & Taylor, so I always liked fashion. I always loved fashion and I love that we can do it and not take it seriously.