Evan Esar Men Quotations

The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.

Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him.

The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.

Many people will laugh at the drop of a hat, especially if the man is still in it.

Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment; and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.

All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it.

The difference between two men is usually a woman.

All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.

The three chief causes of divorce are men, women, and marriage.

Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.

A home in the country is what a city man hopes to buy and a farmer hopes to sell.

Age brings wisdom to some men, and to others chess.

Some men take good care of a car; others treat it like one of the family.

Only one man has the right to boast, and that's the man who never does.

The reason why men who mind their own business succeed is that they have so little competition.

A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer.

The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.

A bacteriologist is a man whose conversation always start with the germ of an idea.

An actor is a man with an infinite capacity for taking praise.

There is a lot of difference between the man who is not able and his brother who is notable.

It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.

The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing.

Many a wedding takes place when a man can't afford to go steady with a girl any longer.

A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.

A man is known by the company he keeps, but a woman is known by the company she keeps waiting.

A man doesn't have vacation problems: his boss tells him when to take them, and his wife tells him where.

Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery; nowadays it is called moonlighting.

A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.

Many a man works himself to death by burying himself in his work.

Some men are so eager for success that they are even willing to work for it.

Next time a man tells you talk is cheap, ask him if he knows how much a session of Congress costs.

A lazy man's wife is generally the power behind the drone.

The survival of the fittest is going to make some man very lonesome some day.

You can tell a man's taste in literature by his judgment in knowing what not to read.

The man who avoids debt doesn't have to worry about avoiding his creditors.

The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.

The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.